Thursday, December 24, 2015

30 Weeks....Let the Countdown Begin!

How far along? 30 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: As of this week I have gained 20lbs.   
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? No
Sleep:  I am sleeping ok...I wake up several times to adjust or go to the restroom, but still not up all night!
Best moment this week: Christmas!! Cannot wait for all the festivities and watching Dawson's excitement.  (not pregnancy related...as for pregnancy I guess hitting the 10 week countdown) 
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Yes...eating without getting reflux!
Movement: Yes! Merritt is pretty much as active as Dawson was in the womb!
Food cravings: Christmas Goodies
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, Thank the Lord!
Have you started to show yet: yes
Gender: GIRL!!
Labor Signs: No...thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? Almost out :( Boo this didn't happen with Dawson
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy...unless I'm tired :) 
Looking forward to: Working on the nursery and finishing it!!!
 
Merritt...Mommy is so sorry your blog isn't nearly as good as your brothers....I can say that chasing him around and keeping up with life definitely makes it a little more challenging to write a post and snap a picture each week.  So far this pregnancy has been pretty similar to Dawson's until recently.  The past few weeks I have definitely been noticing my body changing so much and being much more swollen and sore than I ever was at this point with Dawson.  I am sure its because I'm lifting him and chasing him around all day.  I did come down with terrible pregnancy rhinitis again this time!  The week of Thanksgiving and following week were miserable trying to breathe.  I am so glad we had figured out that I get that with pregnancy becuase all I had to do was call and get a prescription nasal steroid from the midwife and within a few days I could finally breathe!  So far the midwives I'm seeing have been awesome with listening to me and not giving me the run around about things.  They never questioned me asking for the prescription!  After the month run around I got with my doctors when I was pregnant with Dawson I was a little nervous they would want me to try antibiotics etc first, but they knew exactly what I was talking about and didn't even make me come in!It has been wonderful having a group of midwives who will just spend time with you listening and doing all they can to get you to your pregnancy and delivery goals!
 I am getting so eager to finish the nursery and get to delivery!  I am so ready to meet this little girl! I feel so unprepared for her arrival... We have alot of work to do to get her room ready ( I know I know we wont need it at first) but I do love being organized soooo I really need to get it finished!  Let the countdown begin! (after we finish the nursery ) :)

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

22 Weeks!



How far along? 22 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: No clue...I'll guess about 7 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? No
Sleep:  I am sleeping ok....however, Dawson has decided to be on the wake at crazy times train lately...so not the best sleep I've ever had. 
Best moment this week: Going to the fair and eating delicious food last Thursday! 
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything?  Being able to take Nyquil when I don't feel good!  Wicked cold this weekend and I definitely missed that!  
Movement: Yes! Merritt is pretty much as active as Dawson was in the womb!
Food cravings:  Pumpkin Spice everything!
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, Thank the Lord!
Have you started to show yet: yes
Gender: GIRL!!
Labor Signs: No...thank goodness!
Belly Button in or out? In- and praying it stays that way!
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy...unless I'm tired :) 
Looking forward to: Merritts crib getting delivered this weekend!
 
So not much action going on over here.  Merritt is clearly growing and I can see my belly moving with her kicks and large wiggles.  She is a very active little one in the evenings...just like her brother was!  I guess since there isn't much more than that going on I will answer the question that some people have asked....where/ how did we pick her name... WELL... we had 2 girl names set when we were pregnant with Dawson, but once we got pregnant this time we weren't 100% sure.  Originally, we would have named her Harper Raye...but if you are on facebook long enough you see that about 5 of your family and friends named their baby's Harper "R" something!  So being us...we decided we wanted something that wasn't very common. We threw out a few names and both liked London, but London Little....London Bridges....etc...couldn't get it off our brain so we weren't sold.  One night when just blabbering out random silly names Brent says...don't laugh ...seriously...what about Merritt?  At first I was like wow that is not a very common name....let me think about it.  After about 2 days I was sold!  Her middle name will be Raye.  Raye is a family name.  My grandfather was Wesley Raye, my mom is June Raye, and I am Courtney Raye.. so naturally I have always wanted to keep the name going if we had a daughter!  SO therer it is ...Merritt Raye Little!  We are so excited to meet our sweet girl in a few short months!
 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

16 Weeks

How far along? 16 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 3 lbs  if I weigh in the morning....about 5 by  night!
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? No
Sleep:  Ok...A little more wakeful ...and so it begins!
Best moment this week: Listening to Baby #2 heartbeat  
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything?  Not feeling bloated everytime I eat 
Movement: Yes! Baby #2 has been giving me quite a few little kicks this week!  So neat feeling it this early...but I am 100% positive that they are kicks!
Food cravings:  Basically any fall Pinterest Recipe....I've been in a cooking mood!
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, Thank the Lord!
Have you started to show yet: yes
Gender prediction:  I'm utterly confused by my etmotions....a couple of weeks ago I was feeling all boy...this week I catch myself calling the baby she or her...I have no clue!
Labor Signs: No...that would scare me to death!
Belly Button in or out? In- and praying it stays that way!
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy...unless I'm tired :) 
Looking forward to: Finding out Baby #2's Gender in 2 weeks!!! YAY!!
 
Well, I am clearly not going to be good at blogging everey week of this pregnancy...so I'll try for every 2-3 weeks...Hey not much to really talk about every week right? The best part of this week has definitely been feeling distinct baby kicks.  I don't feel them all day...usually after I eat lunch I'll get some activity, but the most movement comes when I go to bed.  It seems like once I lay down Baby #2 decides it is time to party!  I love it and cannot wait for it to be more frequent! (however I prefer daytime movement) The doctor didn't tell my baby's heartrate today, but it was definitely fast from what I could hear!  I shouldv'e asked because I do love comparing this baby's to Dawon's!  His heartrate started around the same as this baby's was and then stayed around the upper 140's....so far this baby's was 164 but no clue today :/....I guess there's no wivestale comparing since we will be finding out the gender in 2 weeks!  I am trying not to get my hopes up either way....I would love a baby girl to make our little equal family of four....but giving Dawson a brother would also be great!  I just can't wait to know!  I guess this weeks prayer request would be for our anatomy scan to show a healthy baby with no issues! 
No matter what we have, I think Dawson is already in love!
 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

13 Weeks

13 WEEKS


How far along? 13 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: I'm not sure exactly, but 2-3 lbs depending on morning or night weigh in
Maternity clothes? Yes, I just hate feeling uncomfortable and the whole sqeezing into my clothes and keeping my shirts down and unzipped pants covered just isn't my thing!   
Stretch marks? No
Sleep:  I haven't really slept great since Dawson was born so I guess I am kind of used to it.  I definitely have a few added restroom trips for sure! ( I try to keep my water intake up)
Best moment this week: Shopping with mom and getting some new maternity shirts!  
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything?  Nothing majorly....maybe having more than one cup of coffee. 
Movement: Nothing Yet
Food cravings:  Veggies and Double Cheeseburger (I know....So bad for me!)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sometimes I get reflux if I have too much salty food.
Have you started to show yet: yes
Gender prediction:  Well....we would love a little girl, but I don't have a gut feeling so I'm going to say boy based off of how similar this pregnancy is to Dawson's.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In- and praying it stays that way!
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I guess I'll say moody...I'm happy but out of nowhere I can want to cry, or be annoyed easily. 
Looking forward to: Celebrating Brent's birthday this weekend! 
 
Thankfully this pregnancy has been very uneventful.  If you read my last blog post you know that sometimes the having "little to no symptoms" worries me.  I do feel like each time I hit a moment of major worry that God allows me to get queasy or dizzy or something that reminds me a little baby is still inside growing.  Now that my belly has started to show it definitely has eased my mind.  Our 12 week appointment was so wonderful.  I was beyond nervous.  I had this horrid fear in my head that we might not find a heartbeat.  This pregnancy has really tested my faith and caused me to trust that God created this life and can sustain this life!  As soon as I heard that little whooshing heartbeat I was so happy!  I probably couldn't wipe the smile off of my face all day!  My midwife was very pleased with the heartrate of 164 and said that our little bean was being super wiggly so she kept having to follow baby around to keep reading the heart rate.  I prayed all morning that she would find it quickly and she did so that was such a blessing!  We took Dawson with us to that appointment so he could somewhat get an idea of the baby in mommy's belly.  He was so cute talking to my midwife.  He kept telling her to "listen to my sisters heartbeat".  We have not encouraged him to talk about a brother or sister one way or another.  He for some reason has been stuck on sister for the past week.  We have asked does hope it is a brother or a sister and lately he has been sticking with sister.  I'll have to see what next week holds!  The midwife says these toddlers have great intuition....we shall wee!   We go back in 3 weeks for a 16 week check and then hopefully soon after will find out the gender of baby #2!  Please continue to pray for a healthy baby and pregnancy! 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

"Before I formed you....I knew you"

So, if you saw our facebook you saw that we are expecting baby #2 in March!  We are beyond excited and cannot wait to see Dawson with his sibling.  Love, Rivalry....who knows but I am so excited!  I blogged about Dawsons whole pregnancy and first year of life, and I am going to do my best to give this baby the same!

  Before I start that happy fun baby blogging, I wanted to post a very personal heartfelt blog about getting to this pregnancy.  I typically DO NOT like sharing personal stuff and being overly transparent, but with the way our world is changing so rapidly and the whole planned parenthood issue,I feel like it is right to share personal experiences, especially if they can help influence just one life!  In 2012 we decided to start our family.  I was so nervous about the whole process of trying to get pregnant because that is just in my nature....I worry and ponder EVERYTHING!  To my surprise we became pregnant almost immediately and carried Dawson Job to term beautifully.  We have always joked about how easily the women in our family become pregnant and apparently I got those genetics.  Once Dawson hit 12 months I really started thinking about having another baby.  I know I know he was a tough infant....we are crazy... all of those thoughts crossed our minds, but the thought have him having a sibling close in age was a wonderful thing!  As a twin I enjoyed having someone my age always by my side, and I wanted that for Dawson.  It took some warming up for Brent, but as we prayed we discussed how if God didn't want our children that close He wouldn't allow us to become pregnant quickly.  ( I laugh because we see how quickly Dawson was conceived)  I said, ok well we can just start trying once he turns a year old and like most people it will probably take us 3 or 4 months, then they will be about 2 years apart...my perfect plan! 

Clearly you can see that my plan did not happen!  We tried and I got frustrated...I mean Dawson was so easy to concieve! I prayed, begged God to let my plan work....and He didn't.  I started to pray a little differently and be more ok with the timing not working out and decided to ease up a little and just enjoy life and enjoy my precious little boy.  Well in February I felt "off".  Pregnancy crossed my mind, but then I just kind of brushed it off.  After looking at my calendar I decided to test.  To my surprise and great joy there were two pink lines!  I was so shocked I had to take another...and there they were again!  Finally, we were pregnant!  Shortly our dreams came crashing down with an early miscarriage.  By time I made it in to see the doctor my blood levels were so low. I think what was most difficult is the way early miscarriages are treated.  Because you never see a baby, a heartbeat, anything on an ultrasound they just kind of brush it off and say it happens try again.  The value of life is nothing to many people, but to us we lost a child and were hurting. People need to know that was a soul we lost...a little baby who was our child.   With the help of family and friends I pushed through fairly quickly and was ok relatively fast.  My hormones had leveled and everything was back to normal so we decided to keep trying. This time we decided to stay relaxed and I decided not to be overboard in making it a job, but rather if it happened it happened.  Well April rolls around and I had the "feeling" again.  I didn't want to test....but I did want to test... (Honestly, I wasn't excited...I was terrified)  I didn't want to see a positive and lose another, but I did want to know and be joyful if I was pregnant.  Well Dawson and I popped into the store to buy some tests.  Once again to my shock....2 pink lines!  Even though I saw it with my eyes, my gut told me something was up.  I didn't feel like this was a healthy pregnancy...I just had this gut wrenching feeling.  I called to set up my appointment and dreaded the wait.  Soon my back started hurting badly and I just didnt feel good.  I knew in my heart what was happening and I couldn't take it. I called Brent and he tried to console me but I was angry, sad, wanted to give up!  Well my hormone levels were so low and we did miscarry again.   Why in the world would God allow this again knowing how much I want to raise another child....knowing how much I love children and my desire is to raise them in Him. After my little pity party and a good encouraging from some close friends and family I started to cry, pray, read, cry some more and just search for my lesson.  I struggled with going to see a doctor becuase I didn't want to play God, but I also wanted to make sure I was healthy and could carry another child.  After talking it over, we made an appt with our doctor in May and discussed what the problem could be.  We ran bloodwork etc...all fine.  She decided we would set up some scans, but they couldn't be done until June and that we would prevent becoming pregnant until after the scans.  During this waiting period I begged for God to show me what He wanted me to learn. I sat reading and praying during many of Dawson's naps.  One day the story of Hannah came to me....I started reading about how she desired a child and gave it completely over to God.  I sat there so convicted.  I was trying so hard to make MY plan work that I had pretty much not thought about God's plan.  What if we are supposed to adopt....what if our sole focus should be Dawson...what if we are supposed to wait?  That day I can truly say I gave it all over to God....I was done trying and I was at peace with one child....adopting....or simply waiting.  It was a feeling I can't describe.  I was sad, but at peace and had my joy back.  Well June rolled around and I can say it was an awesome care free month not trying!  We enjoyed Dawsons birthday, had a great anniversary date night , went to the beach etc....fun no stress!  As I looked at my calendar I knew I should be having my scans soon but my dates were off....I mean like uh oh...I'm late!  I mean we didnt try...we tried NOT to get pregnant.  I refused to test of fear of another miscarriage.  Finally, Brent said you have to because you can't have those tests if you are.  We were both shocked to see 2 pink lines show up!  We giggled, cried, had some fear repeat.  The past 12 weeks have truly tested my faith.  I have been so worried about this baby.  All bloodwork is perfect, ultrasounds great, heart rate great.  I am beyong grateful and blessed. 

I share all of this to show the value of life....even the smallest life.  God said he knew us in our mothers womb BEFORE we were even formed.  After the grief of miscarriage, I am so sickened and saddened about how people can just act as if it is just a "fetus".  I can promise you....it did not "feel" like just a "fetus" that I lost. Those were my children.  Miscarriages aren't talked about alot and I think becuase of the view of the age of the baby alot of women are scared to show their grief or say they lost a baby...becuase to many people, we didn't , we just lost some tissue growing inside.  I was definitely nervous to tell people about ours because I really felt that only one doctor even validated my miscarriages as an actual baby.  That was so sad to me that out of a whole office only one person sympathized with our losses.  The mindset of our society is so distorted and saddens me.  I hope and pray that we can see a difference made in the view of life.   As a mother, I have to believe that even the most desperate of women who choose to abort still have that feeling that I had....that loss...that grief.  I am angry that women make that decision, but also we have to have a heart for them...many of them are so uninformed, hurting, and lost and planned parenthood shows them this "easy out".  In reality, I have to believe that for most of these women there was nothing easy about giving up the life of their child.  I pray that we can make a change and see planned parenthood crash.  I would love to see that in my lifetime.  It has been so hard to me to see all of this during my first trimester and for the most part I try to avoid it, but today I just had to share my feelings and why this hits home even more for me now.  I think God definietly allowed me to learn compassion from this experience.  He allowed me to feel the hurt of loss....the fear of not concieving again.....and the total trust and reliance on Him to create life within me.  After seein how miraculous it truly is to concieve and carry to term my heart truly aches at the lie planned parenthood and other organizations are spreading.  It is a MIRACLE...each little life was perfectly formed not by accident and yet those lives are being treated as nothing more than trash.  I don't need to go into the science of a baby's development to prove my point, but I just thought that sharing my story and the loss of life of a little one could maybe show one person how valuable each little life and pregnancy truly is!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Talkative Tuesday ... Only cheesy title I could come up with ;)

For the past few months Dawson has really began talking quite a bit.  I decided I should start writing down some of his funny and cute words before he really starts talking more clearly.  So here goes...

"Shoop". : also known as shoot the ball daddy!  

"Fat":  this one took me a while... He would yell this from the shopping cart at people in the store and I was soooo embarrassed... Finally I figured out he was wanting me to push him FAST!  

"Eetar" or "ninganinga": Guitar... He loves to help daddy play the guitar so he often runs around saying one of these words. 

"Fafin": this one is good for all babysitters to know... He really loves a RAISIN

"Ren":  Dawson has impressed us with his ability to recognize his colors.  This would be RED... Not sure how an "n" got in there.  

These are just a few that I can think of off the too of my head... Well .. There are some other but they come out totally inappropriate : /  sooo I'll refrain from typing them out!  I love watching his boy grow!!! 




Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Stop Comparing... The guilty social media mom!

So this is a "let me write out personal feelings post" ... I've not done one in a while so I figured hey why not?!? 
So I have an issue... And I'd imagine I'm not the only mom that has this problem. I like to call it social media comparing.  Ever since I've had Dawson I find myself more interested in social media and blogs.  These can be great things... I love keeping up with my friends I don't see and reading fun facts and recipes on blogs etc... The problem I find is I start comparing.  "Wow, look at how much that mom does during nap time!"  " I must be a bad stay at home mom because I don't always craft or cook during nap time" "Oh no.. I'm not feeding my baby all organic?!?"  "To vaccinate not to vaccinate"  All of these things run through my mind many times a month.., and I would dare to say I've become a mom who compares her parenting to others.  Thank goodness for a husband who keeps me grounded.  I tend to overthink everything.  As if being a mom wasn't hard enough... Comparing myself to others life is harder.  I've learned that parenting comes in many fashions and I need to do what works best for us... Not what works for the working mom, the perfect Pinterest mom, or the go with the flow mom... I need to be me, Dawson's mom!  I've seen so many moms judging one another and comparing stories on social media and it's sad.  So I've decided to stop comparing and not to be that judging mommy!  Some breastfeed some don't... Some sleep train some don't... Some eat junk food some don't ... But news flash we are all moms trying to figure this parenting thing out as best we can and comparing ourselves to one another doesn't make it easier! 
So my truth is... I am very routine with D and it works for us.... I feed him healthy
food mostly, but he has some sweets each week...I let him watch some cartoons everyday...
I want to be crafty during nap time, but most days I'm not feeling it  and plop down on the couch with some coffee and enjoy my peace.  
I vaccinate and allow medical advice.  I put him to bed at 7:30 so I can have some time with my husband.  This is me as a mom and I'm going to own it!  So there it is... My raw feelings of stuff I'm working through.  I hope all if my mom friends will enjoy every moment of motherhood despite all of the pressure to be something other than who you are!